how to control your sexual energy
To control your sexual instincts means ability to control your mind and senses, also directing all the creative energy into creating or manifesting your dreams and desires.

I’ve learned from very young how important it is to not wank, yes you heard it right no nut forever is the best practice to changing your life completely.

The benefits of practicing celibacy or nofap is great and is not worth to bust your nut for quick sense gratification.

Which ruins your life in long run, making you lazy, unmotivated, insecure , weak, affecting your physical, mental and spiritual well-being.

So lets talk about how sexual tendency arises in human beings and animals. Let us first study the cause of it which helps us to understand it better:

Nature’s programming:

We are hardwired by the nature to produce offspring’s of our own, attraction is something which we cannot get rid of. We are social beings with lot of emotions and feelings ,hence this is primary cause of arising of sexual tendency in us.

Societal programming:

These day’s all our visual contents are filled with subtle sexual messages the music we listen, films, and advertisements and everything is targeting our uncontrolled survival instincts where most people function in fear and insecurities which makes us think of sexual pleasure more often because its something that is like quick fix to satisfaction. Most of internet is filled with porn these days

Food:

We are what we eat, so Ayurveda Indian ancient medicine system talks about how human body is influenced by the food we eat, especially category of food articles of ‘tamas’ and ‘rajas’ create’s passion in the body to reproduce and also keeping the mind unbalanced. The food articles of ‘sattva’ pure food helps to keep mind body in balance.

The need for a partner:

We are always looking out for love, love is the greatest of all. Most people are frustrated when it’s hard to find love which makes them abuse their sexual energy in substitute for intimacy that is found in love, but this substitute by watching porn and any other means is enjoyable on short run but is disastrous to well-being in long run. So the best possible way is to find a partner and share your feelings and emotions with them. Understanding, communication, being good listener , being there for each other is key of maintaining healthy relationships.

Addiction:

It’s also said that wanking is bad habit it’s an addiction because when we seek sexual pleasure, there is heavy amounts of dopamine and other brain chemicals which bring’s pleasure is being released this is why we feel so good.

But again this feeling good is closely linked to drug addiction where we keep coming back for more whenever life get’s hard then sexual pleasure through wanking is easily available when the mind cant cope with stress of life.

To break free from this you have to carefully watch your own thoughts and try to bring about balance in your life where you see that your not over-doing something which is not bringing to your overall well-being.

Quick gratification:

We are always looking for quick and easy way of doing things, most people want a life of comfort and pleasure. When life gets hard or stressful we look into ways where we could take our mind off from all of it.

Don’t distract yourself there are hundreds of pleasure inducing activities these days it makes you unmotivated towards life draining your mental vigor and making you feel fatigue.

Burnout stage or over-working:

Life is about balance, it’s a balancing act. These days having balance has become a treasure if we could control our thoughts and external environment our work life balance it’s going to not bring up thoughts about pleasure.

When we don’t find balance or don’t like our work ,we find quick sense gratifications, over-working always leads to burnout.

Solutions to avoid quick sense gratification or wanking :

Be aware of thoughts you hold in your mind all the time, self-awareness is the key.

Cut out bad thoughts of all its negative impact and put positive impact of not wanking and quick sense gratification.

Always keep a check on your thoughts, don’t let them wander around. Keeping your engaged in your work or activity is best way to prevent the monkey mind. Also see that you don’t procrastinate or overthink be in the present.

Don’t look at others like they are objects of pleasure; Respect the others and know that everybody is one and myself . (“om sat chit ananda atma”)

Give rewards for positive work and divert mind from negative thoughts

Exercise, transmute energy (deep breathing) , fasting , meditation.

Have practice of Mindfulness 3 times a day having break in between work

Make plans for next day take time during night everyday, you could do it every morning and night before and after sleep.

Think how gross human body is on inside with all flesh, blood, excreta see how you fetish over this body. Bring dispassion for lustful thoughts through practice and discipline. See women has mother and a goddess, worship and respect them.

CONCLUSION:

Powerful aids to the practice of celibacy:

Do not see thing’s which excites the sense organs or content related to it.
Change your vision towards other sex, see oneness.
Watch and Awaken positive thoughts.
Avoid bad company.
Seek (Satsanga) or good company
Cultivate mind-fullness with dispassion holding practice and discipline.
Vow is a great help.
Will and auto-suggestions.